On this day in 1955 my father died. He was forty five. I was five. Although I'm not going to talk about him today as this story is about his little sister. One of my strong childhood memories is of when my Granny Rose took me to see my father's grave in the local cemetery. As we walked up towards the chapel in the middle of the cemetery she stopped at a small grave on which sat a glass dome filled with faded wax flowers. 'That's little Nell,' she said 'She died young.' I don't think I asked any more at that time being too overwhelmed by the recent events of my father's death and our moving house. Also the dome with its wax flowers was a bit eerie for a young child.
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| Me with my Mum and Dad |
I've never forgotten though and did eventually find out that my father and his siblings had a sister. Imagine my surprise then when I had a 'hint' from Ancestry which took me to a family tree which showed Nellie had lived and married. I started to do a bit of research and eventually found a baptism for Nellie on 3rd May 1916. The person who's tree I was looking at had the baptism of a Nellie of the same surname in 1912. I emailed the local town council who sent me details of Nellie's burial on 16th October 1920. She was four years old. I don't know what caused her death but my memory of her grave was correct. I looked up the Nellie born in 1912 and her parents had different names to my grandparents. So not the same direct line but there could be some sort of connection further back.
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| Granny Rose just as I remember her. |
Now I have a quandry. Do I tell this person they have perhaps inadvertently attached their ancestor to my family? You see this has happened before when someone attached their family to mine and when I mentioned it I got short shrift and was told I knew nothing even though the people in question were my grandparents. I have put all the information on my family tree (even the grave plot number) and made it available in the hopes that he or she finds it and hopefully looks at their research and sources again.
I get that happening with my family tree at times. People think they have the right connection. I think it’s best to leave it as they will no doubt figure it out eventually and why should you be given grief. So sad about your dad and you were so young. That must be such a strong memory for you. B x
ReplyDeleteIt is frustrating sometimes isn't it? I see so many things but daren't mention them as I don't want the hassle anymore, in contrast I've met some lovely people and we've all helped each other so there are benefits too. Glass domes with flowers underneath always give me a shudder:)
DeleteOh, dear for some reason I was anonymous on my own blog:)
DeleteSo sad that your Dad died so young Rosie. A very interesting story though and I tend to agree I wouldn't contact but hope they find you tree and information.
ReplyDeleteIts amazing what we remember from childhood which turns out to be correct. You may remember on my blog I mentioned we used to visit my paternal grandmother's family graves and I was convinced it was Burford church. I failed though to find them. In the end I've contacted the church and a church warden knows where they are which is good news. I have his phone number and he will meet me and show me when I get chance to visit again.
It was a strange time and all that year so clear in my memory even though I sometimes have to think what I did the day before. I so glad you were right as to where your family graves were and I hope you visit and find them soon:)
DeleteMy daughter has just had a similar experience. We had always been told that some relatives had gone out to America and had journeyed West on the Oregan trail. My mother died recently and I found the notes that another family member had made showing the links in amongst her papers. I gave them to my daughter as she has been enjoying researching our ancestry in recent years and it turned out that the dates for the people listed didn't actually tally with our ancestors. She has kept the notes and added them to her own, just in case her own research is wrong, but we haven't said anything to other family members.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to tell someone they have things wrong no matter how tactful you are. I'm glad your daughter found the discrepancies and that you are aware of them. I think I too would have kept this to myself:)
DeleteThat is a lovely family photo Rosie! Today would have been my Granddads birthday. I think he was born around 1911. I think I wouldn't contact the person who has the incorrect information. I would make sure (as you have) that all the correct info I had was available for them to see and follow up as they wish. x
ReplyDeleteI always smile at that photo I think it may have been Blackpool or Brighton not sure I remember the seaside holiday and know from my Mum we went as a family to both. I look determined to get to the beach with my spade. Thank you re the info, yes, I'm going to leave it as it is and hope they find it:)
DeleteHow sad that your father died so young when you were only 5, it must have been such a difficult time for you all. Tracing your ancestry isn't always plain sailing is it, especially when everyone in the area seems to have the same names. 😊
ReplyDeleteIt was a strange time, I remember wreaths coming to the door, living with grandma for a while as my Mum was ill and then I was ill with Scarletina (Scarlet Fever). It is difficult with the same names especially as they chose the same forenames too, it's difficult to keep a straight family line:)
DeleteMany hobby genealogists are content to slap together a 'family tree' often using info others have posted, but not doing careful research themselves. In 20+ years of using an ancestery.com subscription I've found names belonging to my own family grafted onto a totally different line. It seems that few individuals when presented politely with documentation will inspect and correct errors. I'm always gratified when there is some dialog and corrections made.
ReplyDeleteA sister-in-law was recently upset when relatives discovered a 'tree' with an unknown 'sister' attached to her paternal line. The individual who created the tree had taken the name from a link without reading through to notice that two completely different families were cited in a list of 'engagements.'
I was pleased to have a message from the tree's creator apologizing for the error and stating that she had made the correction. I feel it is important to make contact offering the correct info--beyond that there's not much we can do. In the case of my SIL the wrong info suggested an illegitimate birth!
I agree that many people seem to be content with taking other people's research and adding it to their own without checking for themselves and making corrections if they find they are wrong. There is a site that has my father's name completely wrong. I told them and asked if they would change it. After all I am his only child, have all his papers and certificates, but no their name was right. I lose faith in some people but others have been wonderful and I have met three distant cousins through the internet and met up with a couple of them and we still stay in touch. I suppose everything has its ups and downs. It is always pleasing to receive thanks for information give. I'm glad you SIL was listened to and the findings were corrected:)
DeleteLovely photo Rosie & so sad to lose your Dad so young. Family trees can be very complicated and I steered away from looking on line due to expense & another family member doing it with similar problems to those above. I know a fair bit and that has been quite rewarding. Thanks for sharing, take care & hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan, I often wonder if things would have been different had he not died. It does affect you as a child and sometimes I think it changed some of my character although I wouldn't have met the people I know and love now if life hadn't changed then. Oh, too complicated on this windy and rainy day. You too take care:)
DeleteThat age, you wouldn't have much in the way of memories.
ReplyDeleteNot too many memories, just of certain things more a sense of people than how they were at the time:)
DeleteOh dear, anonymous on my own blog again, what is wrong with blogger?
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